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Play it safe with power: BDSM

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Do you want to tie your partner up? You saw Fifty Shades of Grey and you’re pretty sure you could pull off the handcuff scene too? Well you can, but listen to the professionals first. On Feb. 19, Master R and Mistress Couple held an informational event for the University at Albany’s annual Sexuality Month. Master R is the founder of La Domaine Esemar, the oldest running bondage, dominance, submissive/sadism, and masochism training chateau in America. This chateau is located just outside of Albany. Mistress Couple is the current manager of La Domaine. Both are strong believers in the depth of passion, love, and human honesty that comes with BDSM.

They came with whips and ropes in hand, as well as two “slaves” in tow. Mistress Couple clarified that “slave” is a self chosen name by a submissive at La Domaine. Not all submissives choose the name slave, but all slaves are submissive. A submissive is someone who chooses to hand their power over to another person for mutual pleasure. A dominant is a person who accepts the responsibility of caring for a submissive while pushing the submissive towards their physical and mental boundaries.

Couple pressed the importance of “Safe, Sane, and Consensual.” This is a term in the BDSM community which means a beneficial uneven power dynamic that only exists in the confines of a mutual, respectful, consensual relationship. BDSM uses safe words, a word or set of words that alert the dominant to stop. Support and comfort are offered after every encounter. These are the key elements that separate BDSM from abuse.

According to Master R, training is necessary for a successful BDSM dynamic. “The biggest issue is we call them toys, but they’re weapons,” added Mistress Couple, referring to her whips and ropes. “You can hurt or kill someone.”

So think twice before using rope or wacking your partner with a belt. Take time to learn safe ways to inflict pleasurable pain and restraint techniques.

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Katie Gibson is the lifestyle editor for the Albany Student Press. She is also a DJ for WCDB.

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  1. March 1, 2018 at 5:09 pm — Reply

    Nice job Kate! Thanks for the shout out. SUNY Albany Sex Week is our favorite college lecture of the year due to the wonderful engagement and great questions from the students!

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