By Ada Mbogu
March 10, 2015
A woman’s body is a powerful tool. Our curves can be used to sway perspectives and judgments into our favor and yet, caress and nurture those that need tender love and affection. Our bodies come in all shapes, sizes and colors and yet, we are still strikingly unique. Our curves are our temples and should be treated with dignity, devotion and respect, and yet, men violate us in the most obscene circumstances. Our curves should be embraced and favored among each other and the opposite sex and yet, we are conditioned as a society to stifle our sexuality for fear of appealing to the male gaze and being taken advantage of.
Men. They feel the need to control. Control us and our thoughts, our voices and our bodies. We live in a patriarchal society where men think they rule the world. They think that they carry the power to dictate how women should live their lives, solely to serve them. And there are those men who yearn for power and control and will stop at nothing to get it. They will lie, cheat, steal, beat and squander any opportunity a woman has to get ahead in life in order for them to feel significant.
Men. When they see our bodies, our luscious curves, our sweet lips and our soft glistening skin tones, they get weak in the knees and want to invade our curves like a wild animal pouncing on its prey in the jungle. Yes, our curves are the inhabited and mysterious jungle that men want to conquer. They are enticing to look at and men want to take a bite out of them like a piece of forbidden fruit. You can look but you cannot touch without my welcome invitation, but the ultimatum falls on deaf ears.
He wants you, but he can’t have you so he exerts his inner Zeus and tries to overpower you with his strength and agility. He undresses your curves and leaves you naked and barren on the leafy jungle floor. He pounces on you as you squirm and scream for help, but he’s just too powerful. He enters inside of you and pins you down so you feel every inch of his manhood. He leans over to kiss you but you tilt your head away and close your eyes until the painful ordeal is over. As he finishes, he gets up and helps himself while leaving you there, naked, cold and paralyzed in shock that this beast used your curves to violate and humiliate you.
Now your curves feel like metal bars holding you captive. You want to embrace your sexuality and individuality but are afraid that your curves will be mistaken as an open invitation for men to abuse you. Rape doesn’t only attack our sexual prowess and identity: it also dehumanizes our soul. Our soul that was once filled with self-esteem, positive body image, self-love and compassion, is now engorged with self- doubt, hatred and shame.
We are ashamed that we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable against a man’s touch. We are ashamed that our curves may be too voluptuous and men may only see us a sexual objects instead of actual human beings. We are ashamed that we cannot embrace our true identities without being ostracized by misogynistic voyeurs. As women, we have a lot to be ashamed about, but our shame should not be directed towards ourselves, but instead towards those who continuously oppress our sexuality.
It’s enough! Women take back what is rightfully yours. Take back your seats at the head of the table and thrones in the kingdom. Rise up and let your voices be heard. Our curves are not an invitation to invade our sexuality. Our curves are not to be misconstrued as acts of feebleness and stupidity. Our curves are not used to silence our voices and creativity. Our curves are not to be taken advantage of in any way, shape or form. And most of all, our curves are not attributes to be ashamed of.
We don’t need validation from men to tell us how beautiful we are. Men see that already and know what our curves and our minds are capable of. They know that we are resilient and that our curves add splashes of color in our intricate palettes. They are the ones that need deliverance and guidance, not us. Our curves are monuments of strength and wisdom, and anything that comes in the way of that will destroy the foundation of womanhood and self-respect.